internetmessiah:

Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?

(via notwifi)

okaymad:

*tries to watch 45 minutes episode in 20 minutes*

(Source: okaymad, via shouldnt)

mightyflower:

to quote hamlet act III scene iii line 92, “no”

(via departured)